That's the Way the Cookie Crumbles

My Apartment is Collapsing

Piece by piece, my apartment is crumbling before my eyes.

Let's start with the first issue: my bedroom. 

I like my bedroom. I like having a private room to myself, but I feel as if UniLodge is not really pulling its weight. Mark and I chose rooms randomly, so I can't really complain, but I got the short end of the stick. 

This morning I woke up at around 10:30 am, with no natural light whatsoever. I have a window in my room; however, the only view I get through the opaque glass is one of my kitchen counter. Natural light struggles to reach the interior of my apartment as we sit in the shadow of a 20 floor neighboring building. 

This illustration might help to ... illustrate my situation. I'm nuzzled in in the bottom room.

So now that my rant about room location is over, I digress. 

A brief review of the condition report completed by the landlord will reveal that my bedroom is supposedly "clean." I beg to differ. Each of the four walls have their own unique distinction that I wouldn't necessarily classify as "clean." From a dead bug smashed on the wall to some sort of brown stain is discouraging to say the least, I don't exactly feel as though my conditions are too ideal.

And the last thing I need to mention about my room: the walls. They are so thin! I don't really care all that much, but I've bumped my head a few times in the night with such force -- accidentally, but still -- that I feared I had made a hole in the wall. In fact, another thing that the condition report missed: A HOLE IN THE WALL (not too large, but come on!). 

Okay, now that I'm actually done ranting about my bedroom, let's talk about the rest of my apartment.

Just to cut the post down a bit, I'll be quick about it.

1. The fan sitting above our hotplate hasn't worked since we've moved into the place. We've spoken to them about this, and they've cautioned us to wait. Well. We're waiting...

The unfortunate part about us missing out on this kitchen appliance? Our kitchen gets very smokey. Even to the extent that Mark or I (whoever isn't the head chef of the meal) have to use one of our cutting boards as a makeshift fan to ensure that the smoke detector in our room does not go off -- again.

2. The microwave. It was old. It may have been on its way out. But come on. Let me give you a quick breakdown: Mark decided to heat up some leftovers. As with most microwaves, you have to open the door to operate it. Our microwave decided that when Mark opened the door, it would stop functioning. 

So now we don't have leftovers. 

3. There are two main lights in the apartment's common area. And sadly only one of ours is capable of emitting any light at the moment. For some reason, the apartment complex doesn't want us replacing the light bulb...

Hey UniLodge, how many tenets does it take to replace a light bulb? 

Okay, that's it for my rant today. I'm 100% positive that all this will be resolved eventually, but the fact that the administrative offices are closed on the weekends makes it a bit more difficult to expedite the process.

As a reward for reading through this anger-fueled rant, here's a pretty funny and funnily pretty picture. Enjoy.

For today's sign off, I'm giving a shoot out to this guy on the phone next to me in the library. Keep doing you man.